Adapted transcript of video:
Hi there. Michelle Barry Franco here.
I want to talk with you about the magic of glorifying others. Earlier this week on the blog I talked about the fear of being judged, and how judging is our brain's job. We know that judgment is totally normal because we do it ourselves when we are in an audience. We judge all the people that we meet actually. Again, it's our brain's job.
Today I want to talk about a practice you can put in place that actually changes your perceptions of those judgments.This practice is the magic of glorifying others.
You know how we just tend to default to thinking that other people think similarly to the way we do? That's why we're really surprised when, for example, we might learn that a new friend ends up parenting really differently than we do (and in a way we do not agree with). It could happen with beliefs around politics or family values overall – really any kind of belief that matters to us can bring up judgment of others when we see them handle things differently.
We just have this assumption that people we hang around with have similar ways of thinking that we do.
Often we are standing in front of audiences with whom we have quite a bit in common. In fact, the resonance we share with our audience often happens because there's some amount of expected shared experience.
This is where the fear of being judged becomes most difficult for us – when we recognize that, even with others with whom we believe we have much in common, we can be quite negatively judgmental. Realizing this, it's hard to deny the belief that others may be doing the same kind of judging with us.
See where this is going? There is a very cool opportunity here…
What would happen if we stopped judging others negatively quite so often? Even more wild and crazy, what would happen if we sought out opportunities to praise and glorify others?
When you put a practice in place of positively judging other people around you, you will set the tone for assuming that your audience is thinking more positive things about you as well. Isn't that cool?!
This is going to take some practice, so I suggest you start now. The very cool thing is it starts feeling better immediately. It's kind of like a gratitude practice. Just as with a gratitude practice when you're really connecting with true gratitude in you, immediately you're like, “Wow! I just feel so much better”, right?
This same thing can happen when you are continually walking around noticing the smart and beautiful and wonderful things in other people – the wonderful ways they're contributing. Notice around you when people say something really clever. When you love the way that they say it, go a step further and say to them, “Wow, that was a super clever way to say that” or “I have never heard that word before. I am so using that word.”
When somebody impresses you, notice it and say it. This will help to start anchoring it in your own mind that these are thoughts that others will be having about you, too. See, it goes both ways.
Practice this glorifying others activity when you're an audience member. Write down all the things you love that the speaker is doing. By the way, as you notice brilliant things speakers are doing and saying in their talks, you're making a list of awesome things that you can bring to your own speaking – a little side benefit.
So that is the magic of glorifying others. Start today. See you next week.