“I just feel like this whole message thing is all about me. I’m tired of talking about myself. My message needs to be about my ideal client – not me!”

I could see the frustration and exhaustion on her face. It’s so familiar – I’ve been there myself plenty.

I remember thinking that if I had to do one more ideal client avatar exercise I was going to run screaming through my house then toss my laptop out in the backyard for the chickens to have their way with it.

How many times can you ask yourself what keeps a person up at night before you just lose your freaking mind?

And yet… (don’t hate me for saying this), there is so much magic in that intimate connection we find when we take the time to really, truly understand our ideal audience member (aka ideal client, for many of us).

In this conversation with my business friend, though, I had a major insight…

It feels like our story and our message is all about us because that’s where we find the resonance between the details of her experience and our own.

However, the problem lies in the fact that we often stop there. We stop while we are swirling in our story and crafting our message from that place.

That’s why it feels so much about us.

Here’s where the beautiful momentum lies, though: when you move from that place of your story to the place where you see her, your ideal audience member, living her dream. Yes, it’s the dream that resonates with your story (that’s why she’s drawn to you), but your whole message is in seeing her success.

You go from “this is all about me” to “I love you – I can so see this for you. Let me help you get there.”

It’s the LOVE that makes the difference.  

As I was trying to articulate this insight with my friend, I drew up this sticky note. Because fancy visual aids are my superpower, obviously 🙂

It seemed to land pretty powerfully for my friend – and I keep thinking about this all week. It’s been a touchstone for me as I do my work. I’d love to hear what you think of this. Does it make sense to you? Is it helpful?

We have some super exciting stuff coming in the weeks ahead! You’re going to want to be here for this. Also, you can have a whole free copy of my book Beyond Applause: Make a Meaningful Difference Through Transformational Speaking AND become a member of our email community where you’ll be the first to know when we make our fun announcement. You can get your free copy of the book here .