I spent a good part of last week in a room full of brilliant, heart-full business owners. These women (and a few soulful men) would do their beautiful work for free and still end the day beaming with happiness. They don't, of course, because we all know that working for free is no way to make a sustainable difference in the world. But the point is, their hearts are in it that much.
Here's what struck me over and over again at this meeting, which is what I see so much of in my work everywhere. In spite of incredible, undeniable:
- brilliance
- passion
- experience
- skills
- talent
- courage…
The confidence required to step fully and powerfully into our great work often eludes us.
In quiet moments – or in moments of deep connection with our clients – we know so powerfully in our souls that the work we are doing changes lives and is wildly important.
But out there in the big, wide world, we forget this meaningful difference we make. We get caught in comparing our insides to other people's outsides (a concept I've heard multiple places and absolutely love), thinking that our internal questions and our completely human uncertainties translate into some kind of important lacking and as a result, we question our powerful work.
This is dangerous for our great work in the world.
Our steady and grounded confidence is essential to calling forth those who need us – and making our biggest impact in their lives.
I already know that you are tremendously important in the lives of your current and future clients. They need you to show up in your grandest strength.
You need the confidence to do that, no matter what.
So, I'm starting this confidence series. In it, I will cover the many different tools and strategies (mindset and active workshop exercises) that I use myself and with clients to build unwavering and powerful confidence.
Today is Session One of the How to Feel Deep Confidence Series, and here is your exercise (it's one of my favorites):
- Get a big sheet of paper, some bold markers, colorful post-it notes and tape. (I'm going to be saying this to you often – get a good supply of these)
- Slap that paper on the wall and write out this heading, all fancy-like (or just big, if you prefer) – Super Happy Clients (or pick your own fun heading).
- Spend a moment thinking of the clients you have most loved working with, who were absolutely thrilled with your work together.
- One per sticky note, write each clients name and underneath their name, write a couple of words that represent what delighted them about your work together. Just jot anything that will help jog your own memory. Use black sharpie so you can see this easily from across the room.
- Place those sticky notes on that large sheet of paper on the wall, lined up so you can see each one clearly.
Now hang that paper with all of those super happy clients somewhere you can see it while you work.
Next time you start to lose sight of the importance of your beautiful work, glance up at that Super Happy Clients sheet.
Those are real lives right there, happy and more peaceful (or inspired or healthy or whatever they feel) because of YOU.
Then get to work doing more of that for more people! They are waiting for you.
(Let's recognize that lasting confidence comes not just from what others say about your work but also from your own internal connection with your soul's calling and your great work. Don't worry – we'll talk plenty about those, too, in future sessions here.)
Really – go do this, okay? I'm glancing joyfully at my own Happy Clients poster right now – and feeling gigantic confidence in my ability to make a huge difference in real lives, so I can testify in this moment that this exercise works! Will you let me know how it goes? If you have questions or ideas to make this even better, post them in the comments. Let's make this confidence-building work a gorgeous collaborative project!
First off – I LOVE your site Michelle! The colors, fonts, etc. It has such a great feel. Now – thanks for the reminder of the power in the successes we have. I know I’m completely guilty of blowing by those to focus on the next “thing” that has to be accomplished. Then when I feel depleted and second guess myself – having that board to refer back to would be great!
Hi Alyssa! I haven’t been great about celebrating my successes in the past either – but I’m changing that now 🙂 Let’s do that together. I’m noticing that it feels really good to look up at that poster each day. Makes me want to formalize other successes to make sure I celebrate those regularly, too. We do attract what we celebrate, right?
Thank you very much about my website. It took a while (and quite a few variations over the years) but it’s feeling like my real digital home now. I love hearing that it feels good to you, too.
Michele, I love this sentence “We get caught in comparing our insides to other people’s outsides (a concept I’ve heard multiple places and absolutely love), thinking that our internal questions and our completely human uncertainties translate into some kind of important lacking and as a result, we question our powerful work.”
That thought about comparing our insides to others’ outsides is deep … I’m still pondering on it!
I’m going to do this exercise (I have loads of sticky notes). I’ve had some very powerful 1:1 relationships these past 3 months with BIG outcomes for these clients. I need to remember their comments when my gremlins start to bite at my ankles!
PS: I love your site – it showcases “you” so brilliantly!
Yay!! I’m not at all surprised that you have powerful relationships with BIG outcomes these last months, Bonnie – but I’m happy to hear it no less! You will enjoy doing this exercise for sure. Believe me, the gremlins don’t stand a chance against your Super Happy Clients poster!
I love that concept of comparing our insides to other people’s outsides, too. I can’t take credit for it. I’ve heard it a few times in various places but it always resonates powerfully for me.
Thank you for the beautiful feedback about my site. I’m loving it, too, I must say 🙂 Thanks for visiting. Come again often, dear friend!
I love this suggestion! I am going to implement this right away. But perhaps instead of “Super Happy Clients”, I will write “Super Happy Mothers” 🙂
Super Happy Mothers is perfect, Dorothy. Super happy indeed!! 🙂
Confidence is so very important! So nice to have a HAPPY file! Great idea using post it notes!
I second Alyssa’s comment – I love your site’s colors, especially the big green font you use in the blog. Fresh!
Thanks for the idea to make a Happy Client poster – I’ve never heard it before and can imagine how it helps to focus your mind on your own great work, instead of useless comparison.